Who am I: Just Another Struggling Writer

Full disclosure: I’m not published. I’m not famous. I’m not a “professional” writer. I’m not a curator of writing wisdom or advice.  I’ve never successfully completed NaNoWriMo. I’ve never even finished a novel.

I’m just a person who needs to scream into the void about the never ending struggle to become and do all those things.

So. Who am I then, and, perhaps more importantly, what am I doing here?

The first question is easy. I’m Kerry.

As to the second, well, that’s an answer in two parts.

I turned 30 earlier this year. I honestly didn’t think that milestone would phase me at all, but, as I got closer and closer, I started dreading it. The question I continuously found myself asking was, “Did I do enough in my 20s?” Invariably, the answer was always no.

To be sure, I earned a lot of life experience. I moved across the country half a dozen times, got married, had kids, got divorced, joined a professional industry I never would have imagined myself in. Yet sprinkled throughout all these ups and downs, and changes of scenery, and new additions, one ambition remained largely untapped, unfulfilled.

I’ll give you three guesses as to what that ambition is, and the first two don’t count.

So, I made the decision that this would be the year (or decade) that I would finally stop pussyfooting and really commit to actually completing a manuscript.

But, unfortunately, there has already been setbacks. Some health issues cropped up just as I was getting started. That decision I made? That was three months ago. I know: excuses, excuses.

Which brings me to part two: accountability. You see, this isn’t the first time I told myself that I was gonna buckle down and bang out a novel. Throughout the years, I’ve experienced numerous bouts of fervent, wild creativity, followed by a few weeks, even months of equally fervent world building, outlining, and actual writing. The thing is that would inevitably be followed by a collapse of motivation, and, ultimately, abandonment of the project… until the next time. And lather, rinse, repeat.

I desperately want to break this cycle.

One of the ways I hope I can do that is by actively seeking out accountability, something I haven’t really had in attempts past. By making a public commitment and diving into the community of fellow struggling writers I’m hoping some combination of support, accountability, and, of course, enormous creative talent from all sides will be what finally pushes me over the finish line.

And that’s basically it.

I’m Kerry. I write fantasy. I’m gonna take another stab at NaNo. I’m gonna blog and network, and world build and stress about word counts, and do all the things that writers do, because that’s who I want to be. A writer.

Happy struggling!

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