Just Another Struggling Writer

Hello friends. Last week was another exceedingly busy one at my day job and this one is looking only marginally better.

I don’t like to talk about my work too much, mostly because there’s an element of privacy involved and because, though my specific job is administrative and desk bound, the industry in which I work can sometimes off put people when I talk about it like, well, a job. Suffice it to say it is health care adjacent and, as such during this pandemic, busy. The burnout among industry professionals has been very real and the emotional toll for those of us left has been quite taxing. I love my job. I do. But I do not love the position my extremely understaffed firm has been left in.

Last week, even though I had just come back from vacation, I found myself rather quickly short of patience and goodwill thanks to the overall vibe of negativity in the building. We none of us had the time to be especially considerate of each other as we went about our respective duties, some of which strayed far beyond our original job description. By Tuesday I had already begun to feel as though I had had no time off at all.

It was that morning that I made a conscious choice. Although my coworkers were stressed and even at times taking that stress out on me, I realized that responding in kind would help no one. No matter how justified I may have felt (or even been) to react negatively, it would in no way change the situation we were all faced with but would simply serve to sour the mood further. So, I decided that no matter the difficulties I faced, I would simply approach what at times felt like an insurmountable and never ending list of tasks with a positive attitude.

It sounds so simple and even a little woo woo, especially to someone who’s brain chemistry so often betrays them, but… it worked. Though each day proved just as stressful and frantic as the last, by simply refusing to let the negativity into my heart, at the end of the day I just felt better. Tired, certainly, and weary to face it again the next day, but less inclined to brood and bitch about that which was outside of my control. And with the extra mental space that cleared for me, I was able to spend my off duty hours actually relaxing rather than working myself up in anticipation of another slog.

How does this all relate to writing? Well, truthfully, it doesn’t. But as my freelancing hiatus is due to expire on Friday, meaning a lot less free time and a lot more work, I expect this pointedly positive outlook to be more important than ever going forward. I don’t imagine it will be easy, but it will be necessary.

Here’s hoping I have it in me.

Kerry Share