Monday Motivations; Queen of Wands

Hello friends and welcome to another woeful week of writing.

As regular readers may have noticed, I’ve been a tad absent of late, and as regular readers might surmise, that absence is due in large part to the first depressive episode since starting my anti-depressant showing it’s ugly face.

I won’t harp on it too long since there is no new ground to tread, but I continue to be so, so grateful to those who have and still stick by me even when I am at my lowest. If that includes you, dear reader, your energy is not missed and is deeply felt and appreciated.

The good news is I’m starting to come around again, and not a moment too soon because after a three month hiatus, I finally have a freelance contract and accompanying manuscript to work on again. Though I still have to fight off all the normal gremlins that come with starting a new project (why are beginnings so haaaard), my mood noticeably improved the other day when I opened my laptop and started a new Scrivener doc. Which is odd because historically writing when I’m depressed doesn’t go very well and tends to bring me down even lower.

And yet despite having an incredibly stressful year in 2021 with difficulties in my day job and as a parent, I still managed to turn in six novellas last year. Wilder still is that every single one of them was on time. While I can easily say I was depressed the majority of the year, I still got my work done.

It makes me wonder sometimes if my path to being published is not meant to take the “bang my head against an idea or three until a good enough manuscript falls out to edit and query and get rejected and try again until the right one lands an agent” route.

I like to think I write really well to spec, and while I wouldn’t say I thrive on a deadline, I’m certainly very comfortable writing with a due date in mind (and actually meeting it). While my personal projects languish in first draft — or even worse, worldbuilding — hell because I have no outside pressure to stimulate me, my freelancing projects have never been late nor been so bad as to be unpublishable.

Is there a place for someone like me in the writing world? Well, duh, of course there is. That’s why I have this freelancing gig in the first place. But beyond that there are ghost writers and those who write for IP. It’s not really a matter if the kind of writer I apparently am has a space in publishing and literature, the real question is am I comfortable occupying it? Do I have the fortitude to accept that perhaps that writing my original ideas is not the path I was meant to take?

I don’t know. Obviously, this isn’t an either/or situation. There’s nothing stopping me from doing both, except, well, me. And the confines of time stubbornly refusing to accommodate how much work is physically and mentally possible during the day. But I digress.

It’s just something else to think about. In the short term, I’m going to keep freelancing and squeezing in the personal work where I can. At least that way I can be sure I’m always moving forward.

And that’s my motivation this week.

Kerry Share

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Scribd subscribers, click here to find my romance novellas!

Monday Motivations; Ace of Pentacles

Hello friends and welcome to another wacky week of writing.

I am slow to change. I have always known that to be true. My longstanding anxiety and depression has more often than not driven me to find comfort in old, familiar habits, even the ones that are terrible for my long term well being.

Last night I realized that this extremely busy period at my day job is not likely to dissipate any time soon. In fact, between the labor shortage and the natural uptick in business my firm has seen over the last two years, things are probably only going to get worse.

The truth of the matter is I’ve been waiting for things to “go back to normal” before launching any long term ambitions. Oh, sure, I’ve paid lip service to getting back into my writing habit, and I definitely took a major leap last year when I fell into my freelancing gig. But, if I’m being honest, I unintentionally cornered myself into a holding pattern these last twelve months, by waiting for a moment in time that will likely never come.

I’ve been stuck in a state of inertia, but last night’s realization forced me to ask myself whether I would actually be happy if things went back to the way they were.

And the answer is no. I don’t want to go back. I want to move forward. And that’s this week’s motivation.

Kerry Share

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Scribd subscribers, click here to find my romance novellas!

Monday Motivations; Five of Swords

Hello friends and welcome to another wonderful week of writing.

January was… not great for me. I’m a firm believer in the old adage that bad things happen in threes, and that bore out over the first month of this new year. Starting with the theft of my purse, then my partner and I catching Covid, and rounding out with the worst (and most persistent) toothache I’ve ever had in my life that had me chugging ibuprofen just to get through the day every day for a week.

Suffice it to say, January was a test of my mental fortitude and while I am pleased to have made it out somewhat sane, my productivity suffered. To put it mildly.

Even February is getting off to a slow start, with another icy winter storm trapping me at home with three cabinfeverish children to keep entertained for four days straight (I never thought I would say I was ready to go back to work, but here we are…).

But in the end, all of these things are just excuses. Good ones perhaps, understandable even, but excuses nonetheless. And there will — there must — come a time where I have to own up to the fact that I and I alone am responsible for getting my writing and associated tasks done.

That’s not the depression monster bringing me down, that’s just the plain truth. And with the pitch deadline coming up this week, signaling the end of my vacation from freelance work, excuses — no matter how reasonable — just aren’t going to cut it anymore.

I feel like a broken record saying this (and I can’t imagine what it must be like to hear me say it), but here we are.

So. In the interest of public shame motivating me to actually get my shit done, here are the do or die tasks for the week:

  1. Submit my first pitch of 2022
  2. Blog on Thursday
  3. Finish A Court of Thorns and Roses (that’s right, I said finish)
  4. Workshop and submit my second pitch

Time to get after it.

Kerry Share Twitter | Instagram | Ko-Fi


Scribd subscribers, click here to find my romance novellas!