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Monday Motivations; Queen of Pentacles

Hello friends and welcome to another wild weekend of writing.

I decided almost as soon as I sat down at my desk this morning that the word (and mood) of the day would be: proactionary. I have no clue if that even is a real word, but the idea is the opposite reactionary.

With as hectic as my life has been these last few weeks/month (what year is it again?) I feel like I’ve spent a lot of time on my back foot. I’ve heard many people thrive in such chaotic environments, and while I am proud of myself for keeping my head above water, I’m ready to lean forward now. To stop reacting what life has been throwing at me and start tackling things my way.

What does that mean? What is “my way” anyway? I’d be lying if I said I really knew, though I do have some ideas.

Firstly, I’m going to stop waiting for opportunities to fall in my lap and start creating my own. The freelancing gig I landed last year I stumbled across purely by luck, and I honestly think that spoiled me a bit. It’s not always going to happen that way and it’s high time I remember that. If that means swallowing my irrational anxiety about Patreon and selling my own e-books, then that’s what I’m going to do.

In a similar fashion, I’m giving up on the “slave to the muse” lifestyle, especially since mine likes to take long, extended vacations when it is least convenient. For too long I have waited until inspiration struck (or NaNoWriMo rolled around) to buckle down and bang out a draft, and, as a rather unsurprising result, I haven’t written many books. It’s time to take a proactionary approach and, hopefully, finally break out of the cycle.

Lastly, I’m through with excuses. I’m always finding a reason to abandon my carefully laid productivity plan for the day. Sometimes those reasons are good, like my child had a difficult day and needed to be consoled. Sometimes, they are dubious, like I had a tough day at work and deserve an evening free of obligations to recuperate. Sometimes, they are downright bad, like I forgot or just didn’t feel up to it.

Take this blog post, for example. I usually write them Monday mornings. But today, there was just so much going on that I could only write one sentence at a time before being pulled away to something else. Then, after I got home, there was a bad storm that kept me distracted. Then, once the kids were all in bed, I opened my phone and saw the half written post still waiting to be finished. I thought… does it really matter? Is it really important for me to write and post this blog today? What would I really be sacrificing if I skipped out?

Only the chance to flex my willpower. To keep a promise made to no one but myself. To take another step in the formulation of a habit. To stop accepting such flimsy excuses as acceptable. So, here I am, at almost nine o’ clock, writing out a blog post that wasn’t supposed to be that deep but took a surprising look into my mental health.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I don’t imagine that changing my entire mental outlook on work and opportunity will be something I can do simply because I made up a word and wrote a blog about it. It will be hard and it there will be failures. But every challenge, every stumble, will only be proof that I took a step forward.

And that’s my motivation this week.

Kerry Share

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Scribd subscribers, click here to find my romance novellas!

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Monday Motivations; Two of Cups

Hello friends and welcome to another wicked week of writing.

Friends, readers, spam bots. It is a no-bones day. I barely had enough motivation to get out of bed this morning, I haven’t the faintest idea where I’m supposed to find more in order to write. And if I hadn’t taken off most of last week to account for parenting obligations and the resulting strain on my bandwidth, I’d probably give myself a break.

But I can’t. And life is just like that sometimes. It can be overwhelming and back breaking, and you just want to crawl under the covers and wait til it all goes away, but no matter how long you wait the work will still be there.

This all sounds very doom and gloom, but in its own way it’s kind of comforting. The world keeps turning. It didn’t end because I woke up feeling like jelly. And having obligations to meet doesn’t mean abandoning leisure or self care. In fact, by getting my work done today I’m not putting an undue burden on the Kerry of tomorrow. Or the Kerry of the day before this manuscript is due.

So that’s my motivation today. Wish me luck.

Kerry Share

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Scribd subscribers, click here to find my romance novellas!

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Finding Your Why

Hello friends and welcome to another wily week of writing here at Just Another Struggling Writer. I’m just another struggling writer.

I got to thinking a little bit this week about motivation. Not the kind that takes the shape of great ideas, nor the type of external stimulus that pushes someone onward. I was thinking much more along the lines of one of the most basic questions we as creative individuals must necessarily ask ourselves:

Why do I write?

What reason do I have to write?

When I asked myself these questions, my answer came easily: because I want to be a writer, duh. But that, in turn, asked a brand new question: what, to me, does “being a writer” entail, exactly?

Because, plainly just writing isn’t enough to satisfy that goal. Even writing for money isn’t exactly what I want, because I’m making money (not a lot, but still) with my freelancing deal. Do I want to be famous? Certainly not, I tremble to imagine the kind of unwanted scrutiny fame would invite. Well, then, is it ego? I didn’t even know I had one to speak of.

But I do. And that’s what brought me to my answer. My why do I write.

Its community. Its people. Its you (yes, you, person reading this right now). Because as much as I shrink against the idea of attention (even positive attention), I do very much desire to bring together a community. That’s why I started this blog, really. That’s why I continue to log onto Twitter every day. Though my anxieties and natural inclination to guarding my privacy have often meant a sort of distance between myself and those I wish to connect with, I do want to make friends. I do want to be surrounded by people who care about my successes. I do want to help others with what meager knowledge and experience I possess.

All this time, I’ve been trying to motivate myself to write with all the wrong reasons. Maybe not wrong, exactly, but incompatible. I thought that I want to write to make money, and well, I do, but that’s not the reason I write. I thought that I want to write because, well, I’m making up stories in my head anyway, I may as well jot them down. And, yeah, that’s also true. But as far as inspirations strong enough to kick my ass out of slow, weary complacency, those things just aren’t going to cut it.

But you are (again, you). You, who cares about me long enough to still be reading this blog after four years of inconsistent posting and a sort of meandering identity. You, who is interested in what sort of fiction I may bring into the world, even though I have yet to produce any for consumption (novellas outside of my favored genre aside). You, who are just another struggling writer and who just wants to share in that experience with someone outside of your own head. Or wait, maybe that’s just me.

Anyway, finding my why has been a bit of a sore spot for me lately. Because, truthfully, I didn’t want to plumb that well too deeply in case the reason actually was just “I want to make lots of money from writing.” Again, I don’t necessarily think that’s wrong and if that’s your motivation, as long as it works for you and gets you writing, I’m good with it. But it definitely wasn’t working for me.

Of course, this new source of inspiration means that I need to actually overcome some social anxiety and the death grip I have on the information I’m willing to share with the world. Gulp. But I think you’re worth it. Yes, you. And you know what? So am I.

Until next time my friends, may your writing be plenty and your struggles be few.

Kerry Share

Twitter | Instagram | Ko-Fi

Scribd subscribers, click here to find my romance novellas!