Monday Motivations

Monday Motivations; Two of Cups

Hello friends and welcome to another willful week of writing.

The last few weeks have been on the stressful side for me, but a reprieve at last approaches. Today is my last day writing for the marketing firm I’ve been freelancing with the last six weeks. I’ll be honest: I didn’t really care for the work and it definitely didn’t pay enough to be worth what I put into it, but I am glad I tried it. Now I know for sure it’s not for me. And I made a few bucks on the side.

With that behind me, I am feeling so light and free, and capable of anything. I mentioned a few weeks back that I felt like I had come to a turning point. It may have taken me a while to get back up to speed after making that turn, but with this unburdening coming after today, I am at last ready to go full throttle.

This confidence is due in large part to the mental labor (and it has been some serious labor) I have been putting into improve my perennial anxiety and relax frankly absurd expectations of myself. I am learning to accept that I cannot be the writer I want to be under present circumstances because I want to be a writer that stays at home and writes 12 books a year. I want to the kind of writer that has a podcast and a successful website where people congregate. I want to be the kind of writer that can subsist on creativity alone.

But, honestly, I haven’t done any of the work to earn that yet. As much as I want to be able to quit my job to write full time, I can’t. I have to put in the time and energy, blood, sweat, and tears, and a shit ton of hard work. And, yeah, sometimes it fucking feels like an oxymoron. How am I supposed to generate an income I can live off of by writing if I never have any time to write?

By paying my dues. And accepting that I’m never going to get anywhere if I keep spinning the wheels of anxiety against the mud of low self-esteem and sky-high expectations.

I’m a flawed writer. I hate drafting and I am always abandoning projects before they’re fully formed for the new shiny idea. If I don’t have a deadline, being productive feels like pulling teeth. I like talking about writing and listening to writers talk about writing sometimes more than actual writing.

I’ve spent the better part of the last five years fruitlessly trying to change all these things, and the only thing I’ve accomplished is a shit ton of disappointment and self-deprecation.

So, I’m abandoning the idea of change and embracing the concept of making my flaws work for me. Maybe, just maybe, if I spend the energy I’ve been wasting on trying to “fix” myself on more productive endeavors (like, you know, being creative), then perhaps I’ll finally see some movement in this long, arduous journey of becoming a full time writer.

And that’s my motivation this week.


I expect to have two drabbles for you tomorrow since I missed last week with all the stuff I had going on. Wednesday will mark (I hope) the first edition of WIP Wednesday, the new addition to my weekly blogging lineup, and Thursday I’ll be back again to talk about the last six months and how they’ve stacked up compared to the goals I laid out at the beginning of the year. Friday, I’m thinking of reviving Friday Feelings, and Saturday a new entry in The Ballad of Mercy May will go up.

If you think that’s a lot of blogging, it is. For whatever reason it helps me, and I’m tired of pretending it doesn’t.

Please look forward to it.

Kerry Share

Twitter | Instagram | Ko-Fi


Scribd subscribers can find my romance novellas here. Coming soon on Patreon!

Monday Motivations

Monday Motivations; The Moon

Hello friends and welcome to another wacky week of writing.

It’s the third week of Drabble Rock and I still feel really good about this fun little project. It’s keeping me creatively engaged without taxing my limited time. And by splitting the idea into two forks — one a contiguous story, the other unconnected, “random” snapshots — I’m able to scratch multiple itches at once.

I look forward to posting them so much, that I started wondering over the weekend if there was a way I could do Drabble Rock every day. At once I chastised myself. I have actual WIPs I could (and should) be working on, after all. As fun as Drabble Rock may be, it can’t be my main focus.

Trouble is, I have come to realize that part of the thing that is so fun and motivating about Drabble Rock is the public nature of it. That’s by design, because apparently the biggest influence on my daily productivity is the expectation — or even just the illusion of expectation — of others. That’s why I work so well on deadline and have no trouble (okay, maybe not no trouble) completing NaNoWriMo.

Personal goals and deadlines are more or less no good to me. I’m used to disappointing myself (thanks anxiety brain), so falling short of a target word count or failing to make writing daily, even just a little bit, a habit isn’t that surprising or, nay, motivating to me.

So, the idea I’m toying with now is reviving Friday Feelings and perhaps adding a mid-week check in. WIP Wednesday’s. It feels a little egotistical to have a blog post every day of the week, but I’m willing to set that embarrassment if it helps.

Whether it actually helps remains to be seen. Until next time, friends.

Kerry Share

Monday Motivations

Monday Motivations; Queen of Wands… Again

Hello friends and welcome to another wonky week of writing.

Last week, despite my anxiety brain spending all its energy trying to convince me it wouldn’t work, I launched my two-pronged short-form fiction project, Drabble Rock. I had a lot of fun with it, but if I’m totally honest, I worried that my enthusiasm for the idea would die off after that first initial burst.

Well, it’s a new week and I’m still excited for it. In fact, I’m itching for Tuesday and already asking myself if once is a week is enough for The Ballad of Mercy May postings. So I am pleased to say that Drabble Rock will be with us for at least another week.

Apart from that, however, I’m feeling a bit like a fraud. I’m really struggling to make headway with Seekers of Empyrean, my urban fantasy novella series. I’m really concerned that the Drabble Rock project has pulled my motivation away, and that I’ve succumbed to Shiny New Syndrome.

Am I real writer if I can’t maintain focus long enough to finish a first draft (much less a second, third, fourth, oh and let’s not forget about querying)?

Am I real writer if I spend more of my time talking about writing than actually writing?

Am I real writer? Or just someone who plays at writing cause it feels cool to say I’m a writer.

My motivation this week is finding out. Wish me luck.

Kerry Share

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Monday Motivations; The Chariot… Again

Hello friends and welcome to another whimsical week of writing.

It’s fitting that I should draw the Chariot again today of all Mondays, because this week I am launching not just a soft reboot of the blog but an ambitious project to go along with it.

I am prone to overthinking things. Pictured: an actual picture of me wearing an actual shirt I own:

So, when it comes to new ideas typically one of two things happens: I either get locked up in analysis paralysis and the idea never sees the light of day, or I rush headlong into it spur of the moment, planning or long term viability be damned.

Drabble Rock was going the way of option A when I suddenly got a bolt from the blue last week. I decided, right then and there in my car on the way to my daughter’s guitar lesson, that I was going to make this crazy idea my next big thing.

It’s probably a good thing I’m charging straight into it because if I hadn’t publicly committed to definitely launching this Drabble series last week, I’d probably be reminding myself right about now that I don’t have a great track record with these sorts of things. I get distracted or too busy or the flame for the project that once burned so bright fizzles out until it’s just another obligation on my time.

But I can’t be afraid to fail. More rather, I can’t let that fear prevent me from trying.

And that’s my motivation this week.

Kerry Share

Twitter | Instagram | Ko-Fi

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Monday Motivations; Two of Swords

Hello friends and welcome to another well-rested week of writing.

Readers, I’ll be straightforward with you. I took the last ten or so days off from blogging/being perpetually online because, frankly, I was feeling pretty overwhelmed with the new freelancing work I picked up. Its a new kind of writing that I have never really dabbled in before, and because of that it has been taking me longer than expected to complete my assignments. It piled up pretty quickly on me and I very nearly quit altogether.

I got it worked out eventually by paring back the amount of assignments I was willing to take on, so that I had time and space to adjust to the additional workload. Still, it’s not my favorite kind of work and it pays pennies. I’ve been wondering almost since the first few days I started if its worth the effort. I thought I would give it until my first paycheck before I made a final decision about whether or not I would stay on with this client long term, but the way things feel right now… my mind is already made up.

But all is not lost. I finally got an optimistic update on my novella pitches and I’m hoping to have contracts soon. And after a half dozen false starts on my urban fantasy series Seekers of Empyrean, I’m finally starting to get into the flow of that project as well.

Yet, despite my time being monopolized by all these different things, I still find myself… creatively unsatisfied. Even with my mouth full of things to chew on, I’m still looking for something else to cram in there.

I wonder if this is all part of the process of Growing as a Writer. Ever since I took those five days back in March to write two thirds of a novella due the following week, I have been itching to make writing my living. I want to create content, I want to engage with other writers, and I want to make friends in the community. I want the joy of seeing my earnings. I even want the sorrow of falling short of my certainly far too lofty expectations.

And that brings me full circle back to this marketing writing I’ve been doing. I’m not enjoying it and so far it hasn’t felt worth my time, at least not in terms of the money-to-stress ratio. But that doesn’t mean I should abandon it. I’m learning a lot about myself through this process, including the range of my talents and my limits. It might not be a long term job I want to pursue, but its valuable in its own right for what it is teaching me now.

So, until I’ve squeezed every last lesson I can from it, I’ll stick with it. And, in the meantime, I’ll be searching for other ways to expand my creative repertoire. I hope you all continue to follow along on my journey.

Kerry Share

Twitter | Instagram | Ko-Fi


Scribd subscribers, click here to find my romance novellas! 

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Monday Motivations; Eight of Wands

Hello friends and welcome to another wiry week of writing.

If you called on me every Monday to name a theme for my upcoming week, this time it would definitely be trimming the fat.

After what felt like eons with nothing to do, the freelance work has definitely picked up and suddenly I’m awash in assignments. It’s all a little bit daunting if I’m being totally honest. How am I supposed to squeeze in all this extra work around… all the other work. (Also I literally signed up for this; what was I thinking?)

For a good while now, probably the last 12 or 14 months even, I’ve been wanting, yet struggling, to finally let go of, well, time wasting activities. A lot of it is social media. Twitter, Reddit (the AITA page is a particular productivity suck), the usual. I also have the bad habit of coming home and throwing myself on my bed and not moving again until the alarm goes off the next morning.

Which is fine every once in a while. But it’s not really a sustainable way of life for a wannabe working writer.

I know this. I’ve known this, yet kicking the bad habit has been, up to this point, impossible. That’s because when it comes to self motivation, I’m as weak-willed as my 11 year old son in his first year staying home after school standing in front of a stocked pantry with no adults around to tell him to have a cup of applesauce for snack rather than five bags of goldfish and half a gallon of chocolate milk.

But! I am very, very motivated by outside expectations. Give me a deadline and I’ll work breakneck to meet it, even if that means giving up some of my precious doing-absolutely-nothing time.

So, yeah, maybe this influx of work is a little overwhelming. For the moment. But I don’t think it’s outside my capabilities. I just need to trim a little fat in my time budget. And that’s my motivation this week.

Until next time friends.

Kerry Share

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Monday Motivations; The Magician

Hello friends and welcome to another wishful week of writing.

I’ll be real honest friends. I was not feeling it this morning. It’s been a discouraging couple of weeks. My freelance endeavors are stalling, my personal writing has been sluggish and uninspired, and I’ve just had a sense of malaise settle over me that has been difficult to shake.

I keep trying to console (and cajole) myself out of this slump but it feels like my self-motivations have increasingly diminishing returns. That culminated this morning in a point blank refusal to accept any platitudes or promises that I’ll eventually crawl out of this slump.

Now, normally a mood like that would call for a mental health / self-care / don’t think at all about writing day, but honestly I think that would just make things worse. I want to be writing and working right now. But I can’t force it to come. Or can I?

I feel like I’m stuck in the middle of a “writers block isn’t real” debate and I don’t know which side is right. Do I allow myself a guilt free moment of respite or do I push through the mental barriers?

And that’s where I’m stuck. There is no motivation this week. Just a lot of conflicting advice.

Until next time my friends.

Kerry Share

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Monday Motivations; Ten of Pentacles

Hello friends and welcome to another wily week of writing.

I’m off to a weird start this week, friends. I like to think of myself as a creature of habit (which is probably why I struggle so much to form new habits, but that’s neither here nor there), and I definitely function best with a routine. Monday mornings, in particular, I tend to think of as the foundation of my entire week and when something interferes with my regimen right off the bat, I get a little discombobulated.

Today, unfortunately, is one of those days. Or it would have been, if I hadn’t gotten a shock to the system.

I won’t go into the details as they are a little personal, but suffice it to say I realized that I really don’t have the luxury to let my whole week go because I had the poor foresight to schedule an appointment first thing Monday morning when I know I need those hours to mentally bolster myself for days to come. I don’t have the luxury of letting my delicate nerves (feeling very Mrs. Bennet now, yikes) and at times fragile mood dictate the importance of the tasks before me.

I don’t have the luxury of writing and working on a whim. I cannot, and must not, be a slave to the muse.

So, even though I feel like crap (allergies), and my usual morning routine is all out of whack, I am going to get myself on track. That’s my motivation this week.

Until next time!

Kerry Share

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Monday Motivations; King of Swords

Hello friends and welcome to another world shaking week of writing.

With everything going on in the wider world right now, it was really, really tempting today to just give up on any semblance of productivity or even normalcy, and just spend my Monday wallowing in pointless distractions.

In fact, I was all set to do just that when a little voice at the back of my mind, one I don’t hear nearly often enough to be honest, reminded me: I don’t have to let a rough start spoil my whole day. I don’t have to let the dour mood on this, or any, Monday morning stall my plans. I don’t have to put my goals on hold to accommodate a pervasive sense of sluggishness.

Nor should I. And that sounds very basic but it really was a new thing for me to not just have that realization but actually have the willpower to act on it.

I’ve got a lot to do this week. I’ve got a pitch due for my first cozy fantasy for Scribd, I need to get a move on in the development of my urban fantasy magic system, I’ve got an important meeting for the day job as well as month end close out, and I need to get some studying done for my first business class.

In short, I’ve got too much going on to let weak ass excuses distract me. It’s nice to have that clarity for a change

Until next time friends.

Kerry Share

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Monday Motivations; Six of Cups

Hello friends and welcome to another wordless week of writing.

Last week I was ripe to bursting with motivation. I had more energy and passion for my creative endeavors than I rightly knew what to do with. Sadly, I don’t think I lived up to it.

I was brooding over this fact in my car this morning when two words drifted out of the podcast I wasn’t really listening to and settled somewhere deep in my brain.

Be tenacious.

Giving up is easy. God, is it easy, and I should know because I have done it plenty of times. Sticking with it despite the difficulties, internal and external, now that’s a whole other kettle of fish.

Be tenacious. Defy what my anxiety brain insists is true about myself. Keep trying. What do I have to lose?

However, that was not the only advice the universe had for me. The second part came with my tarot draw.

Find joy.

Because what is the point of working this hard if I don’t love it? If there isn’t some sense of enjoyment in what I do? Why look for reasons to be miserable and disappointed in myself, when I can be having fun?

It sounds so simple, and maybe it is. I’ll just have to find out.

Kerry Share

Twitter | Instagram | Ko-Fi


Scribd subscribers, click here to find my romance novellas!