Monday Motivations; A Day Late and a Dollar Short

Good morning friends and welcome to another exciting week of writing.

Yesterday was an off day for me. From start to finish I just didn’t feel like myself. Mondays, weirdly enough, is usually when I’m at my most motivated (hence this blog series) and freshest, and I usually feel ready to attack the week. Not so yesterday and I’m still not sure why. Couple that with a tough parenting situation in the evening, and I pretty much lost the whole day.

I’m obsessed with time. How much of it I have, whether or not it’s being spent wisely, the whole nine years. I almost think if it like money, and, like money, I worry that if I am not using it in the most efficient way possible then it is a waste.

Bearing that in mind, days like yesterday are tough for me to swallow. In times gone by, they’ve managed to ruin my entire week. But I’m working on getting better about that, mostly by reminding myself that operating at peak efficiency at all times is something we ask of machines, not people. That I’m not just a vessel of productivity, but a human who is allowed and sometimes has off days.

So that’s my motivation this week: not getting too down about not hitting my word count yesterday and just focusing on what I can do today.

Until next time my friends!

Kerry Share

Twitter | Instagram | Ko-Fi

Monday Motivations; Just Keep Swimming

Hello friends. Last week was another exceedingly busy one at my day job and this one is looking only marginally better.

I don’t like to talk about my work too much, mostly because there’s an element of privacy involved and because, though my specific job is administrative and desk bound, the industry in which I work can sometimes off put people when I talk about it like, well, a job. Suffice it to say it is health care adjacent and, as such during this pandemic, busy. The burnout among industry professionals has been very real and the emotional toll for those of us left has been quite taxing. I love my job. I do. But I do not love the position my extremely understaffed firm has been left in.

Last week, even though I had just come back from vacation, I found myself rather quickly short of patience and goodwill thanks to the overall vibe of negativity in the building. We none of us had the time to be especially considerate of each other as we went about our respective duties, some of which strayed far beyond our original job description. By Tuesday I had already begun to feel as though I had had no time off at all.

It was that morning that I made a conscious choice. Although my coworkers were stressed and even at times taking that stress out on me, I realized that responding in kind would help no one. No matter how justified I may have felt (or even been) to react negatively, it would in no way change the situation we were all faced with but would simply serve to sour the mood further. So, I decided that no matter the difficulties I faced, I would simply approach what at times felt like an insurmountable and never ending list of tasks with a positive attitude.

It sounds so simple and even a little woo woo, especially to someone who’s brain chemistry so often betrays them, but… it worked. Though each day proved just as stressful and frantic as the last, by simply refusing to let the negativity into my heart, at the end of the day I just felt better. Tired, certainly, and weary to face it again the next day, but less inclined to brood and bitch about that which was outside of my control. And with the extra mental space that cleared for me, I was able to spend my off duty hours actually relaxing rather than working myself up in anticipation of another slog.

How does this all relate to writing? Well, truthfully, it doesn’t. But as my freelancing hiatus is due to expire on Friday, meaning a lot less free time and a lot more work, I expect this pointedly positive outlook to be more important than ever going forward. I don’t imagine it will be easy, but it will be necessary.

Here’s hoping I have it in me.

Kerry Share

Monday Motivations; The Final Countdown

*cue guitar riff*

Friends, the time has come. In five days I will submit my fourth freelance manuscript, whereupon I will be not under contract for the first time since April, and I will take a very much needed break.

When I first signed up for this gig, I had an idea that it would be a bit of an ass kicking. I wasn’t used to writing that much that quickly with a hard deadline to adhere to, but… I also knew that I was capable of it. And so I was. I haven’t yet missed a deadline and all my edits have been not just complimentary, but educational, helping me improve my craft and building up my creative muscle with each new project I tackled.

It’s been an awesome experience, even when I was at my lowest moments (of which I had only myself and my penchant for procrastination to blame). I’ve gotten to work as a freelance writer, dabble in a genre I hadn’t touched since I left fanfiction, work with editors and practice working on a deadline. As much of a hustle that it’s been, I can genuinely say I’ve loved it.

But, friends, I am friggin tired. As much as I’ve enjoyed this gig, it has been an asskicking. Everyday day has felt like I have no time at all to relax, that every waking moment not otherwise engaged must be spent furthering whatever project I was currently working on, if not actually tapping out the words but brainstorming what I would need to do next.

It has made relaxing a guilty pleasure, having outside obligations a matter of stress, early bedtimes or days off nigh unthinkable.

In short, I’m ready for this break. God, am I ready.

Don’t get me wrong though, it’s only temporary. In six weeks or so there will be a new pitch period and I’ll dive back in headfirst, ready to further refine myself as a writer. But this time I’ll be smarter about it. I’ll pare back how many projects I pitch to give myself the breathing room my ambition robbed me of these last few months.

And I’ll keep rolling. Can’t wait.

But first, I’ve got some unfinished business:

  • 10000 words to round out the manuscript
  • Edit the first 3 chapters
  • Quick and dirty proofread

If all goes well, I’ll check back in Friday to let you know how it went. If you don’t hear from me, you may assume I was working right down to the wire. Either way, until next time…

Kerry Share

Twitter | Instagram | Ko-fi

Monday Motivations; Back in the Saddle

Good morning! I am pleased to say that I am feeling much, much better now, the fog of depression at last lifting on Friday. After a weekend to recoup and relax, I am back to tackle another fun filled week of writing.

Okay so the “fun” part might be a bit of a stretch, because, thanks to the aforementioned depressive episode I am now in dire straits writing wise. How dire, you might be wondering? Well, 27000 words in less than two weeks dire.

Yeah, it’s bad.

I’m lucky that this project was my most thoroughly planned of the three pitched. I even have a solid outline. I feel pretty sure I can pull this off, but it’s going to be a harrowing two weeks to be sure. It’s really going to test my abilities in a way they never have before. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous. In fact it feels like lying to use the word nervous instead of “scared shitless” for example.

But I’m just gonna go for it. No telling what I’m capable of until I try, right?

Wish me luck!

Kerry Share

Twitter | Instagram | Ko-fi

Monday Motivations; The Laundry At Your Feet

Good morning friends.

Let’s start off with a confession: last week was rough for me. My depression and anxiety were pretty severe which made it hard to do anything writing wise beyond the absolute minimum to get my freelance manuscript turned in. The great news is: it got turned in! Damn straight, I finished the edits, submitted, and sent off the invoice as well. I spent all weekend relaxing, trying to get my groove back, as it were, so I could tackle my next project, plus all the other writing related tasks I have on my docket.

Sadly, I’m not feeling much better today. I want to be able to say that I’m going to write 10,000 words this week, and do my requested edits on my first freelance submission, and start working on my pitches for next quarter. I’d like to say I’m going to read and blog and all that stuff that I really want to do. But I know over promising and ultimately under delivering, even if the only expectant party is myself, will just make me feel worse in the long run. Yet… all this work has to get done somehow.

Fruits Basket is a Japanese manga by author and illustrator Natsuki Takaya, and is one of my favorite stories in the whole world.

So, instead of setting myself up for failure and contributing to an already pretty down mental state, I’m going to try and do the opposite to maybe help lift myself out of it. I’ll do this by setting tiny, realistic and very achievable goals and, hopefully, meeting them. I won’t think about the next task until the first is complete. I won’t stress that I’m not working hard or fast enough.

At least I’ll try, anyway. Isn’t that what matters in the end, that I try?

Kerry Share

Twitter | Instagram | Ko-fi

Monday Motivations; Belated Edition

Hello friends! I’m a bit belated this week because I had a scheduled day off yesterday from work and I decided to apply that to all types of obligations on my time.

That being said, the end of my week last week was a bit of a shit show that completely threw off my routine, and I am ready to get back to the familiar, even if that means a Monday Motivations on Tuesday. Let’s get to it, shall we?

I am now officially 10 days out from my first deadline and I’m starting to feel the pressure. I still have about 13,000 words to pound out and while that doesn’t sound like a lot, I still have to edit them as well. I did a shit ton of editing over the weekend, though, and am feeling really good about the state of the manuscript, unfinished ending notwithstanding. I just need to stay focused and keep grinding. I’d like to focus on edits during the day and new words at night, that way I can keep an even balance of forward momentum and necessary revision. I would also like to reserve the final two days before deadline on copy edits and formatting, which gives me just over a week. Gulp. But, this is what I signed up for and now is the time to find out if I am equal to it.

I did a lot of reading yesterday during my downtime which I really enjoyed, I just wish I could read faster. I’m starting to feel a bit down on myself for letting my reading schedule get so off track, but I really like this book. I’m not likely to discover new time to read, however, with my next freelance project already lined up after the first wraps up. I just need to keep plugging away and stop feeling guilty. Ha! Easier said than done, right?

So, even though I did workshop a one sentence synopsis for my Snowflake project last week, I wasn’t really satisfied with any of the results. I just found it really hard to to distill the concept down to 10 or 15 words. In a way, it feels like I failed the creative exercise it was meant to be. I would like to keep working at it this week. There isn’t any rush for this, it’s purely a vanity project. I want to make sure I get it right.

Okay, so concrete goals:

  1. Reach 30,000 words by Friday.
  2. Edit 3 chapters
  3. Get to 50% of my current read
  4. Relax with an episode of Bridgerton

Is it a sign that you’re overworked when you have to set a goal to relax? Actually, on second thought, don’t answer that.

I’ll be back on Thursday (hopefully, barring any other day job fires to put out) with your regularly scheduled blog post. Until then my friends, may your writing be plenty and your struggles be few.

Kerry Share

Twitter || Instagram || Ko-Fi

Friday Feelings, Sick as a Dog Edition

Man, what a week it has been. My routine has been thrown all out of whack, largely because I woke up on Wednesday with a terrible head cold. It’s been a serious battle to get my words done each day whilst feeling like crap, but yesterday I took a shit ton of meds and pounded out 2500 words to (mostly) get myself back on schedule.

Oh, yeah, I have a schedule now. With the contracts that came in on Friday, I officially have a deadline for my very first freelancing projects. Now, I happen to think that I work really well on an external deadline. My own personal timelines, on the other hand, I tend to pretty much ignore. Holding your(my)self accountable can be tough when you’ve never had to practice it.

But, give me someone who is counting on me to hand in my work on a very specific day? The fear and shame of the mere prospect of letting them down is enough to get me thrashing the keys, random allergy driven sick days be damned.

So, at long last and behind the band wagon as always, I started Bridgerton this week after hearing, and seeing (looking at you Regé-Jean Page, yum), plenty of good things about it. While I’m not tripping over myself to binge it, partially because I’m saving it for when I need inspiration on my historical romance, I did find the first episode enjoyable. And let me just come right out and say it: I am loving the diverse regency setting. Love it. Not sure I would be watching were it any other way, to be frank.

Funny story though, here I was thinking this should would be akin to, for example, the BBC Pride and Prejudice adaptation, and so fired up the first episode while at my desk at work.

Those of you who have seen the show will know why that was not the finest idea I’ve ever had.


On Monday I set a few goals for myself for the week. Let’s see how I did.

  1. 10,000 words by Friday – Well, not quite but pretty damn close. I clocked out last night at 9400 and am looking forward to hitting 5 digits this evening.
  2. Complete Step 1 of the Snowflake Method for my new personal project – Sadly, no. Staying on track with the above goal took most of my bed-ridden spoons. But, the week isn’t over until Sunday night at 11:59, right?
  3. Transcribing written words for The Nexus – again no.

  1. Read 1 chapter from my current read – Yes! I got done writing early last night and managed to squeeze in not one, but three whole chapters. A whopping 5%. Did I mention this book is dense as hell? Can’t wait to review it, honestly.

Okay, so a 25% success rate isn’t great but, hear me out… Hey look, is that Regé-Jean Page right over there?! *poof*


Until next time, my friends, may your writing be plenty and your struggles be few!

Kerry Share

Twitter | Instagram | Ko-Fi

Testing: Monday Motivations

Well, friends, I had so much fun with my Friday Feelings post that I thought I would try another kind of weekly update. If Fridays are for reflecting on my weeks, then Mondays will be when I speak my goals into existence. Ready? I am.

As I mentioned on Friday, my very first freelancing contracts came in and I woke up Saturday eager to get started. I knocked my first daily word count goal out easy peasy, but Sunday was another story. My two elder children were having a difficult sibling day, which meant I spent most of my time playing mediator and generally trying not to have a melt down myself. I’m not sure I succeeded. Suffice it to say, it was after bedtime before I got a moment to myself to write, but by that time I was fried. I’m proud of the work I got done, but it wasn’t even half of my daily goal.

But that just means I need to work a little harder today. My goal is to have 10,000 words toward this first work project by Friday, which means a NaNo-esque pace of 1600. That said, between my son’s allergy shot and daughter’s gymnastics practice, Monday is my best writing day (a lot of sitting around time without the usual distractions). So today I’m hoping for 2000.

But my work project isn’t the only thing I’m hoping to make progress on. As I mentioned Friday, I’m exploring the Snowflake Method as a way to plan a new personal project. The Snowflake Method suggests starting with a one sentence pitch for your novel. Which… is harder than it sounds. This week, I’d like to work one up.

I also have a little bit of transcribing for The Nexus to catch up on, as well as a ton of reading. I’m nearly a month behind in my reading schedule but I am stubbornly refusing to DNF my current read. If I can just get one chapter done this week, I’ll call it a win

Alright, so those are goals and I’ve spent enough time here yakking about them rather than getting after them. I’ll be back on Thursday for your regularly scheduled blog post. Until then, may your writing be plenty and your struggles be few.

Kerry Share

Twitter | Instagram | Ko-Fi

Testing: Friday Feelings

Hello friends. Today I come to you with something entirely experimental. Pursuant to last night’s post about putting more of myself out there, I’m going to try and do just that. A blogger and writer I enjoy (Maggie Slater) does a weekly roundup every Friday, and I really like the idea of reviewing my week and talking a bit without needing to have a specific topic in mind (unlike my Thursday posts). So, I’m gonna test it out and see how I feel.

img_9339
tfw you feel like you don’t even deserve to feel imposter syndrome

Yesterday (and today) I got some great news regarding the freelancing opportunity I applied for in February. The pitches I submitted were accepted by the editor and all that’s left to do now is to sign the contracts and start writing. I’ve got some complicated feelings on this (though I’m obviously both excited and nervous), mostly about how… well, how easily this opportunity came to me. It literally appeared in my Twitter feed right when I needed it most, within days of me starting to explore freelance writing. There was no struggle in the trenches, as I have often heard freelancing described. Not even a rejection. It has been a very smooth process thus far, and while I am still in the early stages (I have yet to write anything heartier than a synopsis), it just hasn’t jived with what I expected landing a gig as a freelancer might be like.

Which is a good thing, don’t get me wrong. The anxiety brain always makes things sound worse than they inevitably are. But, to be honest, has given me a modicum of imposter syndrome. Like… do I really deserve to have gotten this far? Then I remember, that I’m barely off the starting line. I’ve made no money, I’ve written no words. So… do I really even deserve to claim imposter syndrome?


I bit the bullet and opened up an Instagram account. That, too, was fraught with second-guessing. I mentioned in my New Year’s Resolutions post in January that I have been thinking about this since last year, but ended up not doing it because the idea of sharing images of my personal space grinds my anxiety button. And that’s still true! The thing about Instagram is that it’s designed to be pretty, and my life aint pretty. I mean that literally. I don’t have these neatly curated writing spaces, or carefully posed props. What I have is a mess. Again, literally. But also figuratively.

But… isn’t that kind of a reason in and of itself to just go for it? For better or for worse, this is the low-income writing life and others living it deserve to see (and show) that it’s not always the ‘gram level ideal.

At least that’s the soapbox I stood on to convince myself to sign up. We’ll see if it bears out.

(eta: if you’re on Insta as well, please add me and validate this choice! I’m @justanotherstrugglingwriter)


snowflake
snowflake

I’m in the very, very early stages of planning a personal project, and the nature of it requires extensive planning. Even more so than I usually like. So, I decided I would take this opportunity to re-examine the Snowflake Method of plotting a novel. I have tried it once or twice in the past, but found it was too rigorous in it’s planning, (which, for me, is weird). However, that high level of forethought might be just what I need for this new project. I look forward to exploring it and sharing with you all how it goes.


I think that’s everything from me. I’ve got to get started on my very first freelance writing project wtaf. It’s still strange to say. Should I tell my family? Or should I wait until the draft it accepted? Or should I wait until I have payment in hand? It’s all new and exciting and also wow I hope I don’t screw this up.

See you all next next week! Until then, may your writing be plenty and your struggles be few.

Kerry Share

Twitter || Instagram || Ko-Fi

Putting Your(my)self Out There

Hello and welcome to a reinvigorated yet anxious edition of Just Another Struggling Writer. I’m just another struggling writer.

Well, the creative slump that had been dogging me all last week lasted all the way up until this very morning, when, for whatever reason, I just felt ready to shake myself back to work. It’s been the single most frustrating thing about my writing journey: trying to accomplish my goals around the unpredictable cyclone that is my mental health. No matter how much I plan and schedule and set deadlines for myself, there is simply no accounting for a hiccup in brain chemistry that derails me off course, even if only for a few days or a week or a month.

But, it is who I am and, short of finding the right doctor and the right cocktail (unlikely in my present circumstances), it’s just something I have to live with.

So, enough of that. Back to work.

scribbling

Something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately (even struggling with, ha ha) is how hard I’ve found it to make connections with people in the writing community. It’s no secret as to why that is: I’m very shy and very private. But there have been moments, especially during the pandemic, where I have felt extremely isolated on this wild journey of mine. That’s not much of a revelation either. The act of writing is a solitary process. Sure, we can all commiserate before, during, and after the fact, but – unless you have a co-author (and more kudos to you if you do because, whew, I could never) – the actual penning of the words is something only you, yourself can do. Add in the pandemic, where we have all been cut off from each other in new and exciting ways, and it’s not any wonder that I’ve been feeling some loneliness creep in, despite my historic preference for mental hermitage.

(I know I’m not using that word correctly, but it feels accurate so let’s go with it.)

There’s also a measure of social anxiety baked into my predisposition for solitude. Will people unfollow me if I talk about my video game hobby or my kids or sports instead of writing? Will people like or respect me less if they learn more about my life? Will I be harassed if I share too much (it is the internet, after all). Will I say something I regret?

It’s hardly the first time I’ve wondered these things and it’s not at all the first time I’ve thought that my anxiety is crushing some of the life out of me. And while, again, that’s just part of my existence on this planet for the time being, over the last twelve months I’ve made major strides in pushing against some of my uncomfortably close boundaries and exploring what could lie beyond them. Turns out, if I want to make friends I’m going to have to be friendly. And part of that means opening myself up in ways I’ve been hesitant to before.

I’m not really sure what that means yet. But I think it’ll probably result in me talking a lot more. Maybe here on this blog, or in the comments of your own blogs (which I do read, but have been too nervous to meaningfully interact with). Or perhaps on Twitter or Instagram.

Please look forward to it.


I am trying really, really hard to get through my current read so I can review it for you all. Truly, I do like it and I do want to write a book sort of like it but… my god it is so dense. It’s like exercise trying to read it, and with everything else I’ve had going on I just haven’t had the energy. I will get through it one day, though, I swear.

Until next week my friends, may your writing be plenty and your struggles be few.

Kerry Share

Follow me on Twitter

or

Support the blog on Ko-Fi